A Canadian intern currently in New York has sought advice on maintaining a new romantic relationship amid an impending long-distance separation. The individual, who is in the city for a months-long work internship, has developed strong feelings for a woman he met there—originally from the U.S. West Coast—after spending significant time together. With plans to leave the country again following the internship and face a substantial time difference, he expressed concerns about how to continue demonstrating his affection and staying connected.
Meredith Goldstein, the advice columnist responding to the inquiry, cautioned against idealizing the relationship in ways that evoke longing and frustration, drawing a parallel to the melancholic romance depicted in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s "The Great Gatsby." Goldstein emphasized that genuine love need not translate into persistent sadness or a feeling of something perpetually out of reach. Instead, she recommended practical, consistent communication such as video calls when possible and balancing attention to the relationship with individual fulfillment.
Goldstein also advised making plans to reunite in person and encouraged the correspondent to allow each partner space to enjoy their own lives. She discouraged behaviors akin to "Gatsbying," a term coined to describe posting content on social media in the hope a particular person notices, comparing it to Gatsby’s extravagant parties aimed at drawing a single attendee. She warned that such efforts are unlikely to foster a healthy connection.
Responses from readers echoed a range of perspectives on the challenges of sustaining a relationship under these circumstances. Some expressed skepticism about the longevity of a romance formed over a few months when separated by distance, suggesting the person should consider moving on after the internship rather than trying to prove love across time zones.
Others urged pragmatic action, proposing that if the feelings are genuine, plans should be made to either extend the stay, have the partner visit, or commit to a realistic timeline for being together again. They stressed the importance of regular communication, emotional presence during interactions, and setting expectations to avoid drifting apart.
The query highlights common dilemmas faced by couples confronting geographical separation at early stages in their relationships, reflecting concerns about how affection can be maintained when physical proximity is no longer an option. Goldstein’s guidance and reader responses underscore the value of both emotional dedication and practical planning to navigate the uncertainties of long-distance romance.