A psychotherapist specializing in work with parents has shared her experience of reducing social media use and the impact it has had on her family life and personal well-being. Anna Mathur, who also writes about mental health and parenting, described how frequent phone checking contributed to irritability and diminished presence with her three children, aged seven, nine, and 11.

Mathur explained that she often used her phone as a coping mechanism to manage stress and find brief moments of personal time. However, she found that social media and notifications, while providing a persistent dopamine boost, actually worsened her ability to relax. She said that her phone use, which occurred hundreds of times daily, masked a deeper struggle with feeling overwhelmed, especially when interrupted by her children.

Reflecting on the neurological aspects behind her phone habits, Mathur pointed to research indicating that impulse control—regulated by the brain’s frontal lobe—can weaken under conditions of chronic stress, poor sleep, and neurological differences such as ADHD. Additionally, she noted that hormonal changes from perimenopause, including declining estrogen levels, increased her brain’s reward-seeking tendencies, amplifying the pull of digital distractions.

Initially attempting to limit phone use through willpower alone proved ineffective for Mathur. She ultimately installed an application called AppBlock, which restricts access to social media and email during the hours her children are home. She also shifted work-related digital tasks to her laptop to promote more intentional engagement with technology. These adjustments allowed her to create stronger boundaries around her attention.

Mathur reported significant improvements following these changes. She described a reduction in “low hum” overstimulation and irritability, resulting in a calmer nervous system and greater presence with her children. She now verbalizes what she is doing when using her phone in front of them, a practice helping to maintain transparency and accountability. This has contributed to more relaxed interactions and meaningful moments, including shared reading and calm family evenings without competing digital distractions.

The changes have also positively affected Mathur’s relationship with her husband, as the couple now engages in more conversation and shared reflection rather than sitting side by side focused on their devices. She emphasized that offering undivided attention has become a valued aspect of their time together.

By reducing her social media usage, Mathur has found deeper connections within her immediate family. Her children reportedly feel more comfortable sharing daily worries and experiences, and she feels more fully present in her roles as both a parent and partner.