A man recently reached out to an advice columnist after an unsettling encounter with his sister-in-law at her 70th birthday party. The two had a yearlong romantic relationship five decades ago before he began dating and later married her sister. Both couples remain married, and the man maintains a cordial relationship with his former girlfriend, though they rarely discuss their past. At the celebration, the sister-in-law, who had been drinking heavily, told him, “If our spouses died, we could be together again,” recalling their shared sexual history and expressing continued affection. The man was uncertain whether to disclose the incident to his wife, concerned about the potential impact on family dynamics.

The columnist advised caution in revealing the conversation, noting that the sister-in-law did not propose rekindling their relationship but merely voiced an emotional, likely alcohol-fueled reminiscence of a long-ago romance. They suggested that the man extend the same grace to his sister-in-law he hopes she would show him in a similar situation. While acknowledging the awkwardness of the encounter, the columnist recommended a private conversation with her about the effects of heavy drinking, without necessarily detailing the party revelation.

In a separate issue, a couple hosting parties with live music expressed frustration after a guest refused to honor their request not to record performances on smartphones, responding dismissively when asked to stop. The columnist noted that many hosts successfully request guests to abstain from phone use during events to encourage engagement and presence. They recommended clear communication of such expectations in invitations to prepare attendees accordingly. For repeat offenders who disrespect these wishes, the columnist suggested considering limiting future invitations.

Another individual expressed feelings of being an afterthought as relatives plan cross-country trips primarily to visit his sister, with little consideration or prior communication directed toward him. The columnist observed that the correspondent did not mention efforts to maintain these family relationships, implying that the imbalance may partly reflect differing levels of engagement. Investing time and energy in nurturing connections might prompt greater reciprocation and inclusion.

Finally, a reader questioned a friend’s decision to leave only a 10 percent tip after a shared restaurant meal, contrasting it with customary gratuities that typically range from 15 to 20 percent. The columnist affirmed the importance of fair tipping to support service workers but emphasized that tipping choices are personal. They recommended gently discussing tipping norms with friends if appropriate but cautioned against policing others’ behavior.

The advice column invites readers to submit their own dilemmas, aiming to offer grounded perspectives on complex social situations.