In July 2014, novelist Hannah Richell’s life changed forever when her husband Matt, the CEO of a publishing house, died in a surfing accident at Tamarama Beach in Sydney. What began as a routine morning—Matt mentioning a planned "board meeting," which was actually a surfing outing with a friend—ended in tragedy, leaving Richell widowed with two young children aged six and four.

Matt was thrown onto the rocks by a large wave just as he attempted to gain a foothold in the water, and despite emergency efforts, he did not survive. The news reached Richell while she was at work, struggling to write her third novel, when Matt’s personal assistant informed her that police had contacted her. Upon returning home, she was met by two officers who relayed the devastating news. In shock and disbelief, Richell called Matt’s father on the Isle of Skye, beginning a difficult journey through grief.

Richell’s memoir offers a candid and honest account of the profound shock and pain she experienced in the days, weeks, and months following her husband’s death. She describes oscillating between numbness and raw expressions of grief, all while trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy for her children. Breaking the news to them was one of her most painful moments as a mother. The book captures the complex inner world of sudden grief, which Richell refers to as a "sinkhole," marked by disbelief, confusion, sadness, rage, and intense loneliness.

Physical symptoms accompanied her emotional turmoil, including insomnia, hair loss, night sweats, dizziness, and a diminished sense of taste. Richell writes about the struggle to accept her new reality, particularly rejecting the label of "widow," insisting instead on being recognized as Matt’s wife. She kept his clothes and belongings close, finding little comfort in the idea of moving on.

One poignant moment in the memoir recounts Richell’s final hour alone with Matt’s body in the morgue, located beside the maternity unit where she had given birth to their children. She describes holding his hand and pleading for him to wake up, a heartbreaking image underscoring the depth of her loss. The day of the funeral also marked a painful reminder of the future they had hoped for, as Richell’s menstrual cycle began, symbolizing the end of their plans for expanding their family.

The book details everyday moments layered with grief’s sharp presence, such as serving their children the last meal Matt had prepared—Bolognese—an act both tender and wrenching. When visiting the beach where Matt died, their son’s innocent question — “Mummy, is Daddy ever coming home?” — reflects the ongoing impact of loss on the family.

Richell’s memoir has been described as heartbreaking yet ultimately uplifting, offering a thoughtful exploration of grief’s raw reality and the resilience needed to continue. It serves as a reminder to others facing loss that they are not alone in their pain, capturing the often private and difficult terrain of mourning with clarity and compassion.