An increasing number of adults are choosing to cut off contact with family members, a trend that has gained significant attention in recent years. According to a 2025 YouGov poll, 38% of American adults report being estranged from at least one close family member, with many citing manipulative behavior, dishonesty, or abuse as reasons for severing ties.
Therapists report a growing prevalence of clients seeking permanent breaks from relatives, often encouraged by mental health professionals or social media influence. Driola Dega, a New York City-based couples and families therapist, observed a notable rise in individuals eager to terminate familial relationships, reflecting a decreased willingness to tolerate emotional challenges within family dynamics. Similarly, Dr. Dee Apple, a psychologist from Princeton, New Jersey, noted that while the "no contact" approach has gained traction in therapy, the decision often carries lasting emotional consequences.
Some practitioners defend the method as necessary in cases of severe abuse. Annie Wright, a San Francisco therapist, described no contact as sometimes the only viable option to survive narcissistic or emotional abuse, emphasizing that family bonds are not unconditional. However, Wright and others caution against the casual recommendation of no contact, particularly in situations involving temporary conflicts or unresolved communication. They warn that portrayals on platforms like TikTok can oversimplify the complexities involved, leaving individuals unprepared for the emotional fallout.
James Kerr, a therapist from British Columbia specializing in estrangement, agrees that the trend risks becoming a simplistic solution. He pointed out that therapists may sometimes make judgments based on only one party’s perspective, potentially leading to premature or unnecessary severance of family ties. Nonetheless, experts widely concur that physical or sexual abuse unequivocally justifies cutting contact.
Research led by Karl Pillemer, a Cornell University professor of human development, highlights the nuanced nature of family estrangement. His studies reveal that only a minority of estrangements arise from trauma-based situations, with many stemming instead from situational conflicts such as differing values or in-law issues. Pillemer also emphasized the ongoing ambivalence experienced by most individuals who cut ties, citing consequences like chronic stress, grief, and collateral damage to other family members. He also suggested that the popularity of clinical terms like “trauma,” “narcissism,” and “toxic relationships” has reshaped how people interpret familial conflicts, sometimes leading to misunderstandings between generations.
Cultural factors may also contribute to the trend. Dega noted that the United States’ hyper-individualistic society, which prioritizes personal needs over family cohesion, may promote emotional distance rather than mutual understanding. Apple concurred, observing that modern perspectives increasingly focus on individual self-care without considering broader family contexts, encouraging decisions centered on personal well-being even at the expense of relationships.
As the "no contact" approach becomes more common, experts urge careful consideration and nuanced dialogue before severing familial ties, emphasizing that while it can be a necessary step in some circumstances, it is not always the simplest or most beneficial solution.