At a school pick-up on the first day of term, a woman appeared among a group of well-dressed mothers, seemingly enjoying the social atmosphere. However, despite outward appearances, she was grappling with financial control imposed by her husband, which prevented her from participating fully in everyday activities like buying a coffee.
For over two decades, she endured economic abuse from her husband Simon, a 64-year-old banking analyst, who maintained strict control over the family's finances. Although they lived in a six-bedroom, gated home and Simon earned a substantial salary, she was denied personal funds and access to money. Socializing was limited due to his control, and despite the family's wealth, her two youngest children qualified for free school meals, and the family had at times relied on food banks.
Economic abuse, now recognized as a criminal offense, involves controlling a partner’s financial resources, restricting access to money, or accumulating debt under the victim’s name. The abuse often includes preventing victims from working or maintaining social connections. According to the charity Surviving Economic Abuse, 95 percent of domestic abuse survivors report experiencing economic abuse, and one in six women in the UK has faced financial abuse in current or former relationships within the past year.
The woman’s ordeal began after marrying Simon at age 38, following a swift courtship marked by “love-bombing,” a tactic used to establish coercive control. She sold her own property, and the mortgage for their £2.5 million home was taken out solely in Simon’s name, which limited her financial autonomy. He managed expenses meticulously, controlled all accounts, and isolated her from friends and family by restricting outings and monitoring communications.
Simon also prevented her from returning to work after the birth of their children, citing nanny costs despite his seven-figure salary. Their home was rigged with cameras, and constant surveillance intensified her sense of entrapment. Attempts to gain financial independence were met with intimidation and punitive measures, including threats to withhold child and spousal maintenance.
The relationship deteriorated further after a domestic violence incident that led to Simon’s removal from the family home seven years ago. Despite a non-molestation order, Simon continued to exert financial control and used surveillance to enforce restrictions, often threatening to withhold payments vital for household bills and school fees.
Legal proceedings to secure maintenance have been ongoing, but Simon has repeatedly ignored court orders, hidden assets, and claimed financial hardship. This has left the woman and her children living in poverty despite the family’s considerable wealth. She has resorted to freelancing and starting a small business with emergency assistance, while the children have had to rely on university loans, free school meals, and even food banks.
The woman’s story underscores the challenges faced by survivors of economic abuse, where control over finances serves as a tool for prolonged coercion and isolation. It also highlights the complexity of escaping such relationships, even after separation or legal intervention. Support organizations emphasize the importance of recognizing economic abuse as a key aspect of domestic violence and providing targeted resources to help victims regain independence.