A sex surrogate who has worked with more than 100 married men says her role aims to help preserve marriages rather than harm them, addressing common challenges couples face around intimacy. According to the surrogate, many of her male clients report that their wives have lost interest in sex and avoid discussing the issue, a problem she attributes to a variety of factors rather than placing blame on either partner.
She identifies several reasons why sexual activity declines in long-term relationships, including menopause, hormonal changes, pain during intercourse, body image concerns, stress, and emotional disconnection. The surrogate emphasizes that these issues are complex and rarely caused by a single person. Financial pressures also often exacerbate difficulties in resolving intimacy problems within these marriages.
Many of the women involved expressed feeling self-conscious about their bodies, recalling that they met their partners decades ago when they felt slimmer and more confident in their appearance. This shift in self-perception contributes to reduced sexual desire, the surrogate explains. Research cited suggests sexual frequency decreases for both men and women between the ages of 35 and 44, and loss of desire can lead to broader relationship struggles.
The surrogate’s career began after her mother died from alcoholism in 2022, a personal event that motivated her to explore intimacy and its challenges. Her mother reportedly held negative views on sexuality, which influenced the surrogate’s determination to learn more about shame and intimacy. She trained as a tantric sexologist and tantric shamanic somatic healer and now charges £350 for hour-long in-person sessions.
She distinguishes sex surrogacy from escort work by explaining that her clinical approach focuses on intimacy, connection, and sexuality as part of a broader personal journey rather than transactional sexual services. Her work centers on helping individuals reconnect with themselves beneath issues related to sex.
One client in his sixties had not engaged in sexual activity for ten years before seeking her support. He described difficulty discussing intimacy with his wife, feeling rejected and lacking confidence in initiating affection. Their sessions provided a safe space for him to explore physical touch, understand his desires, and build confidence. Practical advice aimed at improving his experience of pleasure and intimacy was intended to benefit his marriage.
Although the client’s wife was initially resistant to the surrogate’s involvement—reportedly feeling threatened and uncomfortable with the idea of her husband working with an attractive woman—the client now sees the surrogate discreetly on his own. He reports that their marriage has become more loving, even if a full renewal of sexual intimacy has not been achieved. The surrogate underlines that her role is to support individuals and couples through complex emotional and physical aspects of relationships rather than to solve all problems entirely.