‘Having an affair is a kind of madness’ – therapy insight on infidelity

By the Editorial Team · Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Lauren LaRusso, a Connecticut psychotherapist who experienced her own divorce after infidelity, helps clients understand the psychological complexities of affairs and offers a seven-day online course to guide those involved toward clearer decision-making. She explains that affairs create a brain state similar to addiction, which can impair judgment and prolong involvement despite awareness of the moral and relational consequences.

Lauren LaRusso, a psychotherapist based in Connecticut, has spent years working with individuals involved in extramarital affairs, both those engaging in infidelity and their partners coping with the aftermath. Drawing from her professional experience as well as her personal history—after discovering her husband’s affair in 2018, which eventually led to their divorce—LaRusso offers insights into the complex psychology behind infidelity.

In her therapeutic practice, LaRusso encounters clients grappling with difficult decisions about whether to remain with their spouse or pursue a relationship with the affair partner. She characterizes the experience of having an affair as a form of "madness," explaining that individuals often understand on some level that their actions are morally wrong, yet the emotional intensity and gratification can overshadow the potential consequences if the affair is uncovered.

According to LaRusso, many people involved in affairs do not fully grasp the depth of the impact on their lives and relationships until the damage has been revealed. She notes that those caught in this situation often find themselves paralyzed, unsure how to proceed as they confront conflicting emotions and practical concerns.

LaRusso likens the state induced by an affair to a form of addiction, saying it "hijacks your brain state" in a way comparable to the effects of drugs. She explains that an affair interrupts the monotony of daily life, bringing heightened excitement and stimulation that can create a kind of psychological intoxication. This altered state can impair judgment and contribute to ongoing involvement in the affair, even when individuals want to regain control.

To address these challenges, LaRusso has authored a book titled *Beyond Infidelity* and developed an online workshop called The Blind-Spot Blueprint. This seven-day, self-paced course is designed to help people involved in affairs gain clarity about their situation and make more informed decisions regarding their relationships. The program’s tagline—“See your marriage, your affair and yourself clearly—before you decide anything”—underscores the importance of self-awareness in navigating the complexity of infidelity.

Through both her clinical work and her personal experience, LaRusso emphasizes the need for empathy and support for all parties affected by infidelity. She advocates for a nuanced understanding of the emotional turmoil experienced by those caught in the web of betrayal, while encouraging individuals to seek clarity and avoid making impulsive choices driven by the intense emotions that an affair can provoke.

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