Thirteen years ago, Alice Snape found herself struggling with weight gain and emotional distress during and after a tumultuous marriage marked by emotional abuse. Now 53, Snape has shared her journey of losing five stone and regaining control of her life, attributing much of her struggle to the long-term physical effects of trauma.
Snape said her weight had climbed to a size 18, reaching 15 stone at her heaviest, during a 12-year marriage to a man she describes as having narcissistic tendencies. Although her ex-husband was not physically abusive, she said he subjected her to lies, cheating, and gaslighting, which deeply affected her mental health. After he left her, she faced financial hardship with their home repossessed due to debts of £70,000 accumulated during the marriage, forcing her to rely on Universal Credit.
Her experience included episodes of intense anxiety, self-loathing, and coping through comfort eating, which compounded her physical and emotional health challenges. Snape described mornings filled with fear and despair, struggles with self-harm, and a sense that her body was a visible reminder of her unhappiness and feelings of worthlessness.
The turning point in her recovery came when she recognized the role of cortisol, the stress hormone released continuously during her prolonged state of anxiety and trauma. She explained that cortisol keeps the body in a "fight or flight" mode, which increases hunger and cravings for high-calorie foods, making long-term weight loss difficult without addressing the underlying mental health issues. Through unraveling the connection between trauma and physical health, she was eventually able to lose the weight she had gained, without resorting to medical interventions such as injections.
Snape’s story begins in the late 1990s, when she met her husband while they were both cabin crew. Early warning signs included his previous divorce and the quick tattoo of her name on his body after three months of dating. Their relationship deteriorated as his mood swings intensified during her 2003 pregnancy with their son William, leading to frequent arguments over minor incidents and a growing emotional distance. After giving birth, she took time away from work at his encouragement, only to discover that his financial irresponsibility led to significant debt and their eventual homelessness.
Despite these difficulties, Snape hoped to sustain the marriage, attempting to have another child. This was marked by multiple miscarriages, and during her sixth month of pregnancy in 2008, she uncovered her husband's infidelity, which further shattered their relationship. Snape described the confrontation as emotionally complex, with her husband initially denying the affair but ultimately admitting to seeking support from another woman during her miscarriages.
Her story provides insight into the complex interplay between emotional abuse, trauma, and physical health challenges such as weight gain. It also highlights the importance of addressing mental health in long-term recovery, illustrating that physical and emotional healing often require confronting underlying psychological wounds.