A young woman’s encounter at a bar has brought renewed attention to a psychological tactic known as "negging," a term many say they have only recently become aware of. On a Saturday night, Esme Gordon-Craig was waiting for a friend’s romantic interest to arrive when a group of men approached them. One man bought a drink for her friend and offered to buy one for her, which she declined. Despite her refusal, he persisted, eventually telling her, “You need to stop being so uptight,” and encouraged her to “let loose” and “learn to express yourself.”

Gordon-Craig initially felt confused and insecure upon hearing these comments, which made her question her demeanor. Although she recognized the encounter as inappropriate—an older man pressuring a woman in her early twenties to drink and flirt—she nonetheless accepted a negroni and engaged in conversation, exchanging social media contacts with the man. Later, she described feeling bewildered and upset with herself for falling into this interaction.

The following day, while discussing her experience with friends, she was introduced to the term "negging." According to psychologists and online discussions, negging refers to deliberate negative remarks aimed at undermining a person’s confidence, typically used by men to manipulate women into being more receptive to their advances. The term was popularized in the early 2000s by male "pick-up artists," including Neil Strauss, author of *The Game*. Since then, it has been adopted by various online communities referred to as the "manosphere."

Experts and commentators emphasize that negging functions as a form of emotional manipulation. It exploits insecurities and social pressures, leaving targets feeling vulnerable and confused. Advice commonly circulated on social media and dating forums recommends calling out such behavior immediately and disengaging from the interaction.

Gordon-Craig’s story highlights how negging can occur subtly and unexpectedly, often without the target’s prior knowledge of the tactic. It raises questions about awareness and responses to manipulative behaviors in social and dating contexts. While opinions on the effectiveness and prevalence of negging vary, the incident underscores ongoing discussions on the dynamics of modern dating and emotional boundaries in interpersonal encounters.