A recent commentary highlights ongoing concerns about the differing approaches to sexual education for boys and girls, emphasizing the need for a shift in how society addresses issues of consent and accountability. The author, reflecting on personal experience, argues that traditional attitudes have allowed harmful behavior to be excused under phrases like “boys will be boys,” which can normalize disrespectful conduct and undermine efforts to hold individuals responsible for their actions.

The author, a 21-year-old woman who attended a Catholic all-girls high school, recalls a schooling environment where sexual education focused heavily on risk avoidance rather than interpersonal boundaries or mutual respect. She describes lessons that went beyond contraception, including practical advice on self-defense and safety measures such as covering drinks, sharing locations, and avoiding walking alone after dark. An early personal incident marked this experience when, at age 12, a man took an unauthorized photograph of her school uniform, leading her father to give her a pocket knife for protection. This episode underscores the pervasive message that girls must be prepared to protect themselves from potential victimization.

In contrast, the author notes that her boyfriend, who attended a private all-boys school, received an education centered on rules and boundaries. This difference prompted reflections on the implication that while girls are taught how to respond to violations, boys are primarily taught where the limits lie, without necessarily addressing the importance of respecting others’ autonomy or understanding consent as a fundamental principle.

The commentary calls for comprehensive education that goes beyond instructing girls on self-defense and awareness. It advocates for teaching boys to accept full responsibility for their actions, recognizing that others’ bodies and personal boundaries are not subjects of humor, objectification, or disregard. The piece stresses that rejection should not be perceived as humiliation, discomfort should not be a source of entertainment, and a clear “no” must be respected unequivocally.

Ultimately, the author argues that framing harmful conduct as an inevitable aspect of boyhood does a disservice to boys themselves. Instead, fostering an understanding of consent, respect, and empathy should be integral to upbringing and education. The aim is to dismantle damaging stereotypes and encourage accountable behavior, setting a foundation for healthier interactions and reducing the likelihood of assault and harassment.