A Michigan man has sought advice after experiencing a prolonged decline in intimacy within his decade-long marriage, particularly following his wife's weight-loss surgery two years ago. Despite years of open communication aimed at improving their sex life, the couple’s physical relationship has diminished significantly since the procedure, and discussions about addressing the issue have ceased.
The husband reported that prior to the surgery, his wife had attributed her low sexual desire partly to struggles with her weight, leading him to hope that the surgery would enhance their intimate connection. However, he described a marked loss of interest on her part since then, noting that attempts to encourage intimacy—such as gifting a product meant to boost female libido—were met with disinterest.
Expressing growing frustration, the husband conveyed that the lack of intimacy has become a source of tension, as he feels wanted less in the relationship. He sought guidance on how to navigate the situation.
In response, the advice columnist emphasized the difficulty of preserving the marriage under these circumstances. She recommended that the couple seek medical evaluation together, specifically advising consultation with an endocrinologist who specializes in hormone-related issues, which can affect libido. The columnist suggested that if his wife is unwilling to pursue professional help, the husband may need to consider the possibility of divorce if he is not willing to continue living with a sexless marriage.
Separately, another letter writer from New York asked for suggestions on how to appropriately thank a former neighbor and casual friend who has assisted with pet care, package collection, and garden maintenance over several years. The neighbor has often helped during extended trips, despite living about 15 minutes away, and the correspondent expressed discomfort at relying on this support without offering a meaningful gesture of gratitude.
The columnist recommended inviting the neighbor and her boyfriend to dinner, either at the writer’s home or at a restaurant, or presenting tickets to cultural events or souvenirs from travels as ways to show appreciation without making the gift feel transactional.
The advice column continues to offer guidance on personal and relational issues, encouraging open communication and, where applicable, professional consultation as means to address complex challenges within marriages and friendships.