Former professional footballer Matt Lawrence has opened up about his struggles with drug addiction and two near-fatal overdoses in March 2021, revealing the extent of his battle with substance abuse and the impact it had on his life. Now 52 years old and more than a year sober, Lawrence shared his story publicly for the first time as part of a personal effort to raise awareness about addiction and recovery.

Lawrence’s ordeal began on St. Patrick’s Day 2021, when he suffered his first overdose on a New York City street. The cocaine he ingested was laced with fentanyl, a synthetic opioid that can be deadly even in small doses. He collapsed on Bleecker Street, ceased breathing, and was revived by emergency responders who administered naloxone—a drug designed to counteract opioid overdoses. Despite his initial survival and hospitalization, Lawrence resumed using, leading to a second overdose just four days later inside a Manhattan bar. This second incident was so severe that a priest administered last rites before emergency personnel intervened once again.

In recounting these harrowing experiences, Lawrence acknowledged how addiction distorted his perception of normalcy. He described how he came to accept illegal drug use, heightened irritability, and even the risk of death as part of his daily reality. “I managed to normalise dying twice in the space of four days,” he said. Lawrence’s memory of both overdoses is incomplete, with most details drawn from accounts by eyewitnesses and medical personnel.

The batch of fentanyl-laced drugs Lawrence used was linked to several fatalities in New York, leading to the conviction and 30-year prison sentence of the dealer responsible. During the court proceedings, text messages from Lawrence to the dealer warning of the drugs’ lethality were presented as evidence.

Lawrence’s professional football career, which spanned 16 years, remained free of drug use, he said. His playing days included stints with clubs such as Millwall, where he captained the team to the 2004 FA Cup final alongside Manchester United’s Roy Keane, as well as Crystal Palace and Wycombe Wanderers. Reflecting on his time in the sport, Lawrence spoke about ongoing insecurities despite competing at a high level, describing moments when he felt he did not fully belong or deserve his place. He recalled the FA Cup final vividly despite the loss and shared anecdotes about some intense on-field encounters.

Now in recovery and physically healthy following treatment for a recent Achilles tendon injury, Lawrence expressed hope that sharing his journey will offer catharsis for himself and insight for others facing similar challenges. He emphasized the importance of confronting addiction openly and honestly, saying he needed “the reality to hit” and wanted others to “read it.”

Lawrence’s story sheds light on the hidden struggles that can affect athletes after their careers end, as well as the dangers posed by synthetic opioids like fentanyl in the illicit drug supply.