Miss Manners Addresses Overuse of ‘Perfect’ and Etiquette of Thank-You Notes

By the Editorial Team · Tuesday, September 29, 2026

Etiquette expert Miss Manners explained that the overuse of the word “perfect” as a vague acknowledgment rather than indicating flawless completion can cause misunderstandings, as illustrated by a scheduling conflict resulting from such ambiguity. She also advised that thank-you notes should be sent promptly after events, criticizing a delay justified by waiting for themed cards as inappropriate and emphasizing the importance of timely written gratitude.

The term “perfect” has increasingly become a common response in professional and personal communications, often replacing phrases like “okay,” “thank you,” or “message received,” leading to confusion over its intended meaning. In a recent advice column, etiquette expert Miss Manners highlighted the challenges that arise from this overuse and ambiguity.

According to Miss Manners, “perfect” is frequently used as an acknowledgment that information has been received, rather than as an indication that something has been completed flawlessly. This subtle shift in usage can lead to misunderstandings. She recounted an incident where a professional managing appointments for clients faced a scheduling conflict due to such ambiguity. A client’s use of “perfect” appeared to confirm a booking, but the word was intended merely as an acknowledgment of the conversation. As a result, the professional ended up with a double booking, underscoring how quickly a vague response can create complications, especially amid rapid email exchanges.

Miss Manners noted that the frustration over evolving language usage is common. She compared the current overuse of “perfect” to past trends involving words like “amazing” and “awesome," which also became tiresome to some users. Despite these frustrations, she emphasized that language constantly changes and that such phases eventually pass.

In a separate matter related to social etiquette, Miss Manners addressed the timeliness and appropriateness of thank-you notes following celebratory events. A parent wrote in expressing concern that their daughter had delayed sending thank-you cards after her master’s degree luncheon. The daughter reportedly postponed writing the notes, citing a preference to wait for “Halloween-themed thank-you cards” to become available, despite three weeks having elapsed since the gathering.

Miss Manners expressed disapproval of the delay and the reasoning provided, suggesting that a simple, unthemed card or even a blank one would have been suitable given the occasion. She further indicated that the daughter’s stated reasoning might have been an excuse to avoid sending any thank-you notes at all. The expert suggested that in cases where gifts are given informally by close family, verbal thanks could suffice, but timely written acknowledgments remain the standard expectation.

Miss Manners’ columns on modern etiquette issues are published regularly online, offering guidance on social norms and effective communication.

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