Barbara Nessim, an 87-year-old artist based in New York, reflected on her lifelong friendship with Gloria Steinem shortly after the feminist icon’s death at age 92 was announced. Nessim credited Steinem’s pioneering work in second-wave feminism with helping to create a world where women are respected, employed, and independent, calling it her enduring legacy.

Before Steinem became a prominent activist, she and Nessim were two young women in New York City challenging societal expectations. They bonded early on over their shared refusal to follow traditional paths of marriage and domesticity. At the time, Nessim was 22 and Steinem 27. The two met through their boyfriends, who were both art directors. Nessim noted that had the men been from more conventional professions, such as law or banking, the pressure toward marriage might have been stronger.

The pair soon moved in together in a modest Manhattan apartment, supporting one another’s creative ambitions—Steinem as a freelance writer and Nessim as an illustrator. Their lifestyle was unconventional for the era but sober and purposeful. Nessim described them as “rebels in a nice way,” living authentically while working late nights and enjoying Latin music clubs without partaking in drinking or smoking.

In 1963, Steinem undertook an undercover assignment for Show magazine, posing as a Playboy Bunny at a Hugh Hefner club. Despite initial doubts—including her age and lack of identification—she was hired and spent three weeks working in the club, documenting the exploitation and low wages endured by the women there. Although later regretful that the piece may have undermined her credibility, the article remains a notable early example of her investigative work.

While some narratives position Steinem’s feminist awakening as beginning in her mid-30s, Nessim argued that their rejection of gender norms and pursuit of independence in their 20s was a formative part of the movement. They may not have had a name for feminism yet but lived by principles that challenged societal expectations of women’s roles.

Around 1968, Steinem’s reporting from a “speak out” event on illegal abortions in Greenwich Village marked a turning point in her activism. The event highlighted women’s experiences with reproductive injustice, galvanizing her commitment to feminism. She later co-founded Ms. magazine in 1971, the first publication devoted to feminist issues, and became a prominent voice advocating for women’s rights, including access to abortion and contraception.

Steinem’s activism faced significant resistance. According to Nessim, both men and many married women opposed the women’s movement in the 1960s, which challenged entrenched norms that expected women to marry and rely financially on their husbands. Despite initial opposition, Steinem’s work helped reshape public discourse and policy on gender equality.

In 2000, Steinem married entrepreneur David Bale, marking a personal step after decades of advocating for women’s equality within marriage. Bale passed away three years later. Throughout her career, Steinem faced backlash, often being labeled and ridiculed, but Nessim recalled that her friend always responded with thoughtful, disarming replies.

Nessim and Steinem lived together for seven years and remained close for more than five decades. Even in Steinem’s final days at a hospice, she was noted for her sharp wit and insight. Reflecting on younger generations unfamiliar with Steinem’s legacy, Nessim recounted her friend’s poignant response: “But do they know who they are?”