Olivia Bowen, reality television personality and influencer, has opened up about her struggles with mental health and traumatic childbirth experiences in her recently published autobiography, *Lost Until Love*. The book, released in mid-2026, offers a candid account of Bowen’s journey through depression, anxiety, and personal hardship, challenging the carefree image previously associated with her public persona.
Bowen first gained prominence as a contestant on the reality show *Love Island*. However, she reveals in her memoir that the confident and bubbly persona presented on the show masked a history of emotional turmoil. Diagnosed with anxiety and prescribed antidepressants in her late teens, Bowen also battled heavy alcohol use and a near-phobia of social situations. She attributes some of her struggles to her parents’ divorce when she was ten, which marked a significant turning point in her life. Bowen describes her teenage years as confusing and distressing, balancing a facade of popularity with private episodes of intense emotional pain.
In the book, she also reflects on a past relationship in her late teens that ended with betrayal and severely impacted her self-esteem. Despite these difficulties, Bowen found love with fellow *Love Island* contestant Alex Bowen. They married in 2018, becoming the first couple from the series to wed. The couple has since built a public profile as influencers, amassing millions of followers and starring in their own ITVX show, *Olivia & Alex: Parenthood*. Their eldest child, Abel, was born in 2022, and their family life is often showcased on social media.
*Lost Until Love* delves deeper into Bowen’s personal challenges beyond her television career, including pregnancy loss and a near-fatal childbirth experience with her second child, Siena, in 2025. Bowen recounts hemorrhaging severely during delivery, losing 60 percent of her blood volume and requiring emergency transfusions. She describes the ordeal vividly, recalling the chaos of the moment and her struggle to stay conscious while holding her newborn. Bowen also expresses the profound guilt she felt about the possibility of leaving her children motherless.
The traumatic birth had lasting effects on the couple, with Alex Bowen choosing to have a vasectomy due to fears sparked by the close call. Olivia Bowen describes the emotional impact on her husband, noting his inability to initially look at her after the incident.
In addition to childbirth trauma, the autobiography provides an unfiltered look at Bowen’s experiences with disordered eating and self-harm—topics she had previously kept private. She acknowledges that the memoir’s introspective tone diverges sharply from the glossy image of life often portrayed on their social media channels.
Bowen recorded the audio edition of *Lost Until Love* herself, and she admits that narrating certain passages, particularly those involving family trauma and loss, was emotionally challenging. She hopes her story will offer support and guidance to others facing similar struggles, underscoring the importance of acknowledging mental health and vulnerability even in the most seemingly perfect lives.