After a month of virtual interaction, Dr. Jacob Edwarde Perlson and Ethan Shane Wise’s initial in-person meeting in July 2019 fell short of their expectations, but the couple decided to try again—ultimately forging a lasting relationship.

The two men connected via the dating app Hinge in June 2019, months before Perlson moved to Boston, where Wise resided. Perlson had just completed his third year of medical school at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, and was preparing to begin a yearlong master of public health program at Harvard University. Both were seeking meaningful, long-term relationships.

Perlson, who goes by Jake, described his time as a single queer man in rural New Hampshire as isolating and viewed his year in Boston as an opportunity for new beginnings. Wise, a resident of Boston’s South End neighborhood and a business manager for an architecture firm, was recovering from a difficult breakup and looking for “the right guy.”

Early in their interactions, Perlson learned that Wise had written a poetry book as his college thesis, prompting the idea to exchange a poem each day until they met. This daily sharing provided insight into each other’s personalities and interests.

However, their first face-to-face meeting was marked by an “awkward” first kiss, with both unsure of how to proceed. They spent the evening at Dumpling Cafe in Chinatown, where they discussed their backgrounds and mutual connections to liberal Jewish families. Despite cordial conversation, both felt the date did not fully succeed.

Undeterred, they arranged a second date the following night at Petit Robert Bistro, a French restaurant in the South End. This time, their connection deepened as they openly discussed personal goals and shared laughter. Following a movie outing in October 2019, they deleted Hinge and officially became a couple.

Perlson, 33, grew up in Deerfield, Illinois, and is a psychiatrist practicing at Callen-Lorde Community Health Center in Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood, alongside a private practice on the Upper West Side. He holds degrees from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Dartmouth College, and Harvard University. Wise, also 33, hails from Fairfield, Connecticut, and works as a freelance graphic designer while pursuing graduate studies at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. He earned a bachelor’s degree in English from Tufts University.

The COVID-19 pandemic strengthened their bond. When a roommate moved out of Perlson’s apartment, Wise, working remotely, moved in. After Perlson completed his master’s degree, they relocated to New Hampshire so he could finish medical school. They also welcomed a goldendoodle named Hercules.

In 2021, Perlson obtained his preferred residency placement in adult psychiatry at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital (Columbia campus) affiliated with the New York State Psychiatric Institute. That May, the couple moved to New York City, settling in South Harlem. They quickly formed a friendship with Nephi Niven, a local dog owner who introduced them to the Radical Faeries, a queer countercultural community. The couple found affinity with the group’s expressive culture and values.

By fall 2023, discussions about marriage had begun. They designed matching gold wedding bands and became engaged that October at Diet Zhuzh, a queer rave event in Manhattan’s Lower East Side. Wise proposed during a fashion walk at the Parkside Lounge, catching Perlson by surprise.

The couple married on September 27 before 11 guests in a rented home in Hunter, New York. Wise’s brother, Harper Wise, officiated the ceremony after being ordained by the Universal Life Church. Their dog Hercules served as ring bearer. The wedding blended Jewish traditions—including the display of a tallit, a Jewish prayer shawl—with Radical Faerie customs, incorporating meaningful family heirlooms from loved ones unable to attend.