After a long day as a school maintenance worker, 28-year-old Paul finds solace in an unlikely pastime: reading romance novels. A fan of romance with a fantasy or horror twist, he typically consumes five or six books a month, most recently enjoying *Love Bytes*, a story about an 8-foot-tall werewolf woman who manages a successful AI company and falls for a ballroom instructor. Partially sighted, Paul relies on his Kindle for adjustable font sizes and initially gravitated to more traditional romance, like the Regency series *Bridgerton*. He appreciates nuanced characters such as Simon, the protagonist with a speech impediment, highlighting the rarity of disabled leads in the genre.
Paul’s passion is largely hidden from his immediate social circle; his main interaction with fellow male romance readers occurs online in spaces like the Discord channel Romance For Men (RFM). The stigma attached to men, particularly straight men, reading romance fiction remains strong. Men account for a small minority of sales and writers in the romance industry—Mills & Boon estimates that male readers represent only about 4% of their sales—and the UK’s Romantic Novelists’ Association reports less than 2% male membership.
Despite this invisibility, many men describe romance literature as more than mere entertainment. It offers emotional liberation and a means to explore vulnerability and intimacy in ways traditional masculinity often discourages. For Paul, the appeal began with role-playing video games, where he could engage with characters and relationships different from his own conflict-averse nature.
Similarly, Andrew, a 31-year-old tech worker and self-described feminist, discovered romance by deliberate choice while exploring female authors outside his usual sci-fi and fantasy preferences. After picking up Rebecca Yarros’ *Fourth Wing*, he found the integration of romance and fantasy refreshing and soon introduced the genre to his wife’s skeptical book club. While he appreciates the genre’s nuances, Andrew acknowledges some unease around the idealization of sex common in romance novels.
Ali, 54, a former investment banker and Oxford student journalist, speaks openly about his years-long affection for romance fiction, ranging from historical novels to contemporary works. Having studied creative writing in his 40s, he now writes historical romance manuscripts under the gender-neutral pen name Ali Murphy to avoid reader bias against male authors in the genre.
Within the wider romance community, a niche known as Romance For Men (RFM) has gained traction. Predominantly self-published and distributed digitally, RFM targets male readers with narratives often featuring ordinary men and unusually powerful women, inverting traditional gender roles common in mainstream romance. Central conflicts often lie outside the relationship itself, such as external threats or shared adversaries. Debate continues within the community about “harem” fiction—where one man engages romantically with several women—whether it qualifies as romance or a separate category entirely.
Jonny Rogers, a 33-year-old finance professional and prolific reader, exemplifies the appeal of RFM. Having embraced romance as a source of emotional connection after early influences like *Titanic* and Graeme Simsion’s *The Rosie Project*, he reads extensively within the genre, emphasizing well-written female leads and rich character development. Rogers has also authored a romance novel, *Daniel’s Dilemma*, and although he shares his writing with close friends, he remains cautious about wider disclosure due to the genre’s lingering stigma.
For authors like DH Willison, 58, who writes the *Tales of Arvia* series blending fantasy with diverse romantic pairings, the greatest resistance comes not from readers but fellow writers skeptical of romantic fiction’s validity. He challenges traditional notions of character roles and genre tropes, arguing that romance’s appeal transcends gender and that marketing solely to women limits its reach.
Across these varied experiences, male readers and writers of romance fiction navigate a complex landscape of societal expectations, personal fulfillment, and community engagement—revealing a lesser-known facet of a genre overwhelmingly associated with women. The continued growth of platforms like RFM underscores a shifting demographic quietly reshaping romance literature’s boundaries.