Therapists in New Zealand are raising concerns about a notable increase in rough sexual practices, including choking and suffocation, particularly among young women. Experts link this trend to the growing influence of online pornography and its pervasive presence on social media platforms.
Dr. Jo Robertson, a therapist, educator, and advocate, said that over the past five years there has been a rapid rise in sexual strangulation and other forms of rough sex, moving from a marginalized behavior to mainstream among young people. In 2023, more than half of young New Zealand women reported experiences of being choked or suffocated during consensual sex, a phenomenon that older generations often do not encounter or recognize.
The normalization of such practices has led to complex social challenges. Julia, a 20-year-old student from Christchurch, described feeling pressured to participate in rough sexual activities even when uncomfortable. She explained that raising concerns with peers often led to them minimizing her feelings or warning her against speaking out, fearing damage to her social reputation. "The fear of being ostracised is greater than the fear of what can happen," she said.
Research indicates that many New Zealand teenagers have limited conversations with their parents about pornography, with two-thirds reporting no such discussions. Over half of teenagers were exposed to pornography before the age of 13. Content frequently viewed by New Zealanders includes high proportions of incest themes (46%), non-consensual behavior (35%), and physical aggression such as punching, kicking, or strangling (10%). Dr. Robertson highlighted that social media increasingly acts as an entry point for exposure to such material, with 35% of young people encountering unsafe, adult, or illegal content on these platforms rather than traditional pornographic websites.
Given the digital environment’s rapid evolution, some educators are developing innovative methods to engage young people in safer conversations. At St Hilda’s Collegiate in Dunedin, counsellor and neuropsychotherapist Dr. Marcelle Nader-Turner has helped create Ask Aunty Hilda, a student-led initiative that encourages girls to anonymously submit questions about sex and relationships. A group of senior students, guided by Nader-Turner, respond weekly to these inquiries via email and a dedicated website. The program aims to provide timely, relevant information that adapts to the changing online landscape and has reportedly improved dialogue within the school community.
The growing awareness of these issues reflects broader concerns about how early and often exposure to explicit and aggressive sexual content may influence youth sexual behavior. Experts stress the importance of open communication between parents, educators, and young people to navigate these challenges effectively.