Safeeyah Kazi marked a painful anniversary on September 25, 2025, reflecting on the loss of her newborn daughter Noor, who lived only 33 days following an emergency premature birth. Noor was delivered breech after Kazi went into labor at 23 weeks and six days, a process she described as sudden and unexpected, noting she had been unaware her waters had been slowly breaking throughout the day.

Noor weighed less than a bag of sugar at birth and was immediately placed in an incubator. Kazi’s husband, Basel, captured a photograph of their daughter shortly after delivery to allow her a visual connection during that difficult time. Noor was then transferred to a specialized neonatal unit, where the couple spent a month beside her incubator, watching her rely on a complex array of medical equipment to support her breathing, feeding, and medication.

During that time, Noor faced numerous life-threatening challenges, including brain bleeds and collapsed lungs. Despite the medical team’s efforts and the baby’s persistent fight for survival, her fragile body eventually became too weak. Kazi recounted the harrowing experience of rushing to the hospital in the early hours, enduring endless anxiety about how long Noor would survive, and witnessing doctors urgently working to save her.

Kazi also shared the small but meaningful moments, such as Noor’s reactions to nurses and the flicker of recognition when she heard her mother’s voice. Most significant to Kazi were the two times she held Noor, moments she described as both precious and overwhelming, offering a brief experience of being a mother.

The grief Kazi described extends beyond the loss of a child. She emphasized the profound transformation in her own identity, highlighting how the loss reshaped her sense of self. The grieving process, she said, involves having to box up the memories of the child and grasp onto physical reminders — in her case, a blanket that connects her to Noor’s brief life. Returning to daily life proved isolating as friends and acquaintances failed to recognize or understand her grief.

At 27, Kazi said she never anticipated becoming a grieving mother, a reality that drastically altered her previously vibrant, optimistic outlook. She expressed that the aftermath of such loss is less about poetic reflections and more about navigating the challenging process of redefining one's existence in the wake of profound personal tragedy.